


Unsalvageable

by Airspritegal



Category: Homestuck
Genre: It is a bit descriptive on the attempted suicide, M/M, attempted suicide, be warned, there are other characters as well, they just are not as major
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-03-25 20:30:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3824056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airspritegal/pseuds/Airspritegal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tavros has had enough and in a moment of weakness tries to end it. Someone will try everything to help him change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW. cutting and suicide attempts

His lips were pursed in a tight line as he held back the barrage of emotions threatening to come forth. Her voice rang in his ears as she circled him like a lioness stalks her prey. She didn't stop, even when his wall broke and the tears rolled down his cheeks. Finally, to his relief she stopped.

“Taaaaaaaavros?” she cooed. “Are you crying?” She asked, putting her hands on the end of his 4-wheeled device and leaning her face right up to his, examining the damp trails still falling down his face. When he failed to answer her Vriska's expression dropped from one of cruel mirth to one of utter disgust. “Tavros!” She muttered, shoving his wheeled device away from her hard enough to send the boy and device falling backwards. As he hit the ground Tavros felt the air knocked from his lungs and he lay there in a mix of agony and fear. He closed his eyes as he heard her footsteps approach and waited. He waited for her to grab him and yank him up or to take and shove her foot down on his chest but after a moment he realized she had done neither of these things. He opened his eyes and chocolate brown met icy blue as she stared down at him, the same look of utter disgust on her face, :You are soooooooo pathetic!” she muttered before she walked off, leaving the cripple to his own devices to somehow right his chair and get back into it.

Tavros sighed as he wiped away the leftover tears and, using all of his strength he maneuvered himself to sit up, gripping tightly at the overturned wheel. This was it, he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't take another day like this. Vriska always found a way to make fun of him. Sometimes it was his wheelchair, others it was his caramel skin. It was taking it's toll on the young man. With a shaky breath Tavros tried to right his wheelchair but failed, succeeding only in sending himself back to the ground and the chair on top of him. He let out a quiet moan of pain before the weight was suddenly gone from his chest. He looked up and was met with the face of his best friend who had his normal smile replaced with a bit of a frown at the moment. 

“Mother fucking hell, you okay Tavbro?” the taller asked as he set the wheelchair aside and knelt down to look at Tavros eye to eye. "What happened?" he asked, the normal drug induced tone in his voice for a moment was missing.Tavros shook his head, unwilling to tell the tall, lanky man what happened.

"It was nothing Gamzee. Just Vriska again." he said quietly. Gamzee's eyes narrowed at the name. He knew the girl was cruel to Tavros and he had yet to figure out why. "Tavros...She flipped you over. That's not fucking nothing." Gamzee said. Tavros shook his head, pasting a smile on for his friend. "I'm fine. No real harm done." he said. Gamzee eyes him for a moment before he slipped his arms under the boys legs and around his back. He lifted him up and set him back into the wheelchair without a word. Tavros frowned as his friend turned from him. "See ya Tavrbro." Gamzee said as he walked away slowly, looking around absently. Tavros raised a hand to bid him goodbye and frowned deeply. "Bye Gamzee.." he muttered. 

It was late that night as Tavros sat in his bathroon, staring at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy as he finally pulled them away from his reflection. He looked down as he reached out, grabbing the razor he kept hidden under the soap dispenser. This wasn't the first time the hispanic boy would drag the blade across his wrist. He watched in a mix of relief and horror as the red trailed down his skin, dripping into the pristine sink. He thanked god that his father and brother were out of town. Something about a ball game they just couldn't miss. Tavros didn't mind though. He liked to be alone especially at times like this. He felt his body start to shake as the blade once again cut into his wrist. He was careful not to disturb the other scars that littered it but with so many it was nearly impossible. After another few cuts, some deeper than others Tavros felt his head start to hurt and the bathroom around him started to spin. He let the razor drop to the floor with a clatter as he sucked in a deep breath. He couldn't complain though, this is what he wanted, what he was trying for. He looked up as he heard a rumbling from the counter. Oh, someone was calling him. He reached a shaking hand out and flipped his phone open. "Hello?" he said, trying to keep his voice strong. 

"Tavbro hey! I'm mother fucking sorry I ditched you today. I just hate it when you take what Vriska does so well." Gamzee said from the other end of the line."And well I was wondering..." Tavros gave a slight smile as he listen to the other continue talking.

"H...Hey Gamzee..?" he finally said quietly causing the other to stop. 

"Yea Tavbro?" he asked. 

"I'm really sorry.." he said slowly.

"Sorry? Mother fuck Tav, why are you sorry?" 

"I just...I'm sorry..And thanks...For everything." Tavros managed to get out before he took in a sharp breath and dropped the phone to the floor, unable to even hold it to his ear anymore. He could still hear him, Gamzee calling into the phone. He smiled weakly, leaning his head back and closing his eyes as Gamzee's voice lulled him into darkness. "Tavros? Tavbro pick back up! Tavros! TAVROS!?"


	2. Chapter 2

Gamzee held the phone to his ear in such a tight grip he was sure it would shatter.   
“Tavros! Fuck Tav, this isn't funny!” he yelled but there was no answer. He growled and threw the phone aside rushing from his bedroom. He ignored the strange look from his brother as he ran past him and out the door. He didn't stop until he reached the door to Tavros' home nearly running headlong into it when he discovered it was locked.  
He looked around desperately for any sign of where the key was hidden but he found nothing. In a split second decision Gamzee raised his foot and slammed it against the door, causing it to swing open, its lock broken. It didn't matter, he'd pay for a new lock later. He raced through the house and finally found Tavros in the bathroom. 

“Tavros?” he asked as he approached the younger man. Tavros was still, and Gamzee's heart sank. He lifted the young man from the wheelchair and laid him down before leaning over him, head turned to the side as he felt for breath from the other. As a small bit of air hit the other he let out a slow sigh of relief but it was short lived. He glanced around, noticing the others phone. He picked it up and with shaking hands and dialed 911. As soon as he knew the call connected Gamzee shouted before the poor dispatcher had a chance to speak. “Motherfucker my friend tried to kill himself! He's barley breathing!” he cried. 

“Calm down please sir. Where is he?” she asked in a calm voice. Gamzee let out a frustrated scream. 

“Calm down!? I can't! My friend is dying”

“Sir, I can't help him if I don't know where he is.” 

 

Gamzee rambled off Tavros' address and groaned in frustration as the woman asked him to stay calm and stay on the phone. It was only a few moments of that repeated mantra before he threw the phone aside, fed up with her calm tone. He leaned over his friend but froze when no breath reached his cheek. “Tavros!?” he cried before leaning over, hands on Tavros' petite chest. He pushed down, thanking god Kurloz had dragged him to CPR class with him. After two rescue breaths he started again. He heard the sirens coming closer but he didn't stop, even when the parametics burst into the room. They were forced to rip him away from Tavros, holding back as he screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks and smearing his clown-like makeup.”Let me go with him!” he begged. A young female paramedic nodded. “Come on then. Get in.” she said, wrapping her arm around his shoulder gently as she led him into the ambulance. 

 

Gamzee felt his heart break as he took in the sight of Tavros hooked up to a breathing machine, bandages on his wrists. The paramedics, including the young woman, rushed around in the tight space and Gamzee pulled his knees to his chest, curling up and out of the way of them. When the pulled into the hospital Gamzee stood aside as they rushed Tavros away. He was frozen, didn't know what to do now. Finally he took a shaky breath and pulled out Tavros' phone from which he had somehow stored in his pocket in the madness. He pulled up the contacts and chose Rufio, knowing Tavros always said his father would never answer his phone. When the elder picked up Gamzee swallowed audibly. “R..Rufio..?” he said slowly and the young man frowned.

“Gamzee? Why do you have Tav's phone?” he asked. Gamzee sighed.

“Tavros is in the hospital..He tried to kill himself..” he said. Gamzee waited a few moments but heard nothing from the other end of the line. “Rufio?” he asked.

“Gamzee, good lord this is not funny! I knew you were an ass but this is just-”

“I'm serious!” Gamzee yelled, cutting Rufio off. “Tavros tried to kill himself, he's in the emergency room now.” he said


	3. Chapter 3

The loud, steady beeping was what called Tavros back to reality. As it pounded in his head he groaned, shifting to get away from it, only for it to suddenly make a loud screech, sending his brown eyes flying open. He was nearly blinded by a white light before it was blocked by at least four bodies. He could make out the different voices, one woman's being the loudest. “Tavros? Can you here me honey?” she asked in a voice that was forcibly sweet. Tavros laid there, staring up at the people around him. He opened his mouth to speak but the woman from before shook her head. “You have a breathing tube, don't try and talk.” she said slowly, as if talking to a child. Tavros closed his lips, frowning. “Well, he recognized his name and followed simple commands...” One male voice muttered as Tavros saw him write something onto a clipboard he held. 

“LET ME IN! GOD DAMN IT!” A voice called and Tavros turned his head slightly to glance at the doorway where he could barley make out a small gathering outside it. The voice yelled again and Tavros realized it was Gamzee's. Tavros watched as his friend, at nearly 6 and a half feet, towered over the collection of doctors trying to hold him back. “G..ga..” Tavros tried to speak, despite the breathing tube and the female doctor looked down at him with a start. 

“Oh! Saywer, help me remove the breathing tube, he no longer needs it.” she commanded a nearby nurse and within seconds Tavros could feel the strange obstruction in his airway gone.

“Gamzee..? he finally managed to mutter in a voice that seemed strange to him. It was scratchy and quiet. “I want Gamzee..” he managed and the nursed and doctor glanced at the door. “Him?” the nurse, Saywer said with a strange look. “Gamzee...” Tavros repeated and the female doctor sighed.

“Let him in!” she called and the small collection parted, allowing the tall, lanky man through.

The doctors left one by one until Tavros and Gamzee were alone. Tavros watched as Gamzee approached his bed before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a sitting position against his chest. Tavros slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around the other tightly. He opened his mouth to ask who found him before he tensed, feeling something wet drop onto the top of his head. “G..Gamzee?” he asked in a hushed tone,

“F..Fuck Tav! I...I thought you were dead!” Gamzee cried, squeezing the smaller boy tighter to him. “You stopped breathing on me..I couldn't get you to start again!” Tavros felt the other nearly quake with silent sobs but he stayed quiet, unable to come up with anything to say to his best friend. “Tavros...Tavros why the hell would you..I mean...mother fucking hell...What made you want to..” the older could barley speak, let alone form coherent sentences. Tavros bit his lip, blinking back tears of his own. He hadn't meant to hurt Gamzee like this. He hadn't meant to hurt him at all. Before he could speak two more people burst into the room. 

“Tavros!” the slightly shorter of the two said as he nearly launched himself across the room and took Gamzee's place of holding Tavros close. 

“R..Rufio..” Tavros whimpered

“Tav! Thank god you're okay!” his older brother said. Tavros glanced up as his father approached the pair and gently ran a hand over Tavros' mohawk. The taller man said nothing and his eyes were kept from Tavros. 

“D..Dad?” Tavros asked. He noticed the normally stoic man was shaking and after a second tears were streaming down his cheeks. 

“Tavros...We love you so much..” he said quietly, his hand stilling on his sons head before he let it fall away. “Please don't leave us.” he whispered and Tavros was taken aback. His father was never that quiet. He felt his chest grow tight as he realized his brother was starting to cry as well, rocking the pair ever so gently. Tavros was reminded for a moment of his mother who had passed long before any of this. She'd sat with him, rocking him as Rufio now was. 

“Tavvy..” his brother said, voice laced with a heavy emotion that was somewhere between guilt and a deep sadness that cut Tavros deeper than any razor had. Tavros felt his heat fall and with a small sob he buried his head against his brother chest as the sobs grew. He could only think to keep muttering “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”


	4. Chapter 4

Hours passed like that. Tavros and his family sitting together on his bed, Gamzee standing in the background almost unsure of what he should be doing. Despite everything it seemed like mere moments later that the nurse came in and informed Tavros and his family that visiting was over and they had to leave. Tavros looked fearful for a moment as his family and Gamzee were herded from the room. Gamzee tried to head back, managing to quickly bolt around the doctors and rush to Tavros' side, enveloping him in another tight hug. 

“We'll be here tomorrow.” he said quietly. Tavros nodded and Gamzee was forced out.  
It was late that night that Tavros awoke, panting and covered in sweat. The clean white sheets stuck to his body as he sat up with a start, eyes searching desperately around the room. He put a hand to his chest to calm his breathing and could feel his heart beat, erratic and fast. He glanced up again, searching for a threat he knew wasn't there. After a few moments he calmed and lowered himself back down, pulling the blankets to his chin. He hated sleeping alone. He was always plagued with nightmares, nearly an adult and he would often still slip into his brothers room in the middle of the night. He would curl up on the floor, and fall asleep there, the rhythmic sound of Rufio's breathing lulling him to darkness but this time he was alone and that hurt. He let out a sigh and soon drifted into another nightmare. 

 

Hands pokes and prodded him after what seemed like moments but when he opened his eyes and was blinded by the incoming sunlight he knew it had been hours. He blinked a few times to clear his vision before looking up at the person standing over him. He expected Gamzee, or even his father or Rufio but that's not who was there, smirking down at him. 

“Oh look, the cripple can't even kill himself right.” the icy voice cooed and Tavros stiffened. “V..Vriska..” he whimpered as she finally came into focus. “W..Why are you here?” he asked. The girl chuckled darkly, and leaned away from Tavros.   
“Well, I heard you tried to kill yourself and I just had to see if it was true.” she said. “You always were a failure. A pathetic failure and now you've gone and proved it!” she said and she laughed again. Tavros clenched and unclenched his fists, eyes downcast. Vriska frowned as his attention was not on her and again leaned over him. “Tavros! I was talking to you!” she hissed, grabbing his hair and lifting his head to see her. Tavros wondered briefly why there were no doctors or nurses watching him. He searched the hallway for anyone to help. He figured they would have someone there but the pair seemed alone. “Oh! And before you ask Tavvy. I made sure the doctors left us alone!” she said with a triumphant smile. “I just told them I was your girlfriend and wanted to see you alone.” she cooed as she finally released her hold on his hair.   
Tavros could feel his breath quicken as he began to fear for his safety. They were alone. No one was going to come and find them. God only knows what Vriska could do to him. He whimpered as his eyes locked with hers finally. Just before she could raise a hand to him another voice broke the uneasy quiet. “Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Him.” it growled before Tavros felt Vriska pulled from his bed. Tavros looked up in shock, taking a moment to register what happened. Gamzee stood on the other side of the bed, one hand tightly around Vriska's neck and pinning her to the wall while the other was pulled back and ready to deliver a strong punch. 

 

“G..gamzee..” Tavros said, causeing Gamzee to glance at Tavros and distracting him enough that his hand lowered to his side but the other still held the smaller girl immobile. She let out a choked cry and started to struggle which promted Gamzee's eyes to go back to her. He opened his mouth to speak when as if on cue a barrage of security swarmed the room. They grabbed Gamzee and yanked him away from Vriska, sending her into a crumpled heap on the floor. Tavros watched in a mix of surprise and horror as his friend was dragged from the room, kicking and screaming all the way. “She was going to hurt him! I was trying to protect him! Let go of me! Tavros!” The security muttered something amongst themselves and finally Gamzee was taken from Tavros' sight and the hispanic could only imagine they had thrown the taller boy out.  
Tavros glanced at Vriska as a few nurses helped her to her feet. She was clutching her neck and sobbing but Tavros knew she was faking it. He could see through her and as she was walked from the room she glanced at him and the look in her eyes made his heart stop. He knew as well as she did that he was vunerable now. His best friend...His closest thing to protection at the moment was gone. He was alone now and vriska knew that. Tavros felt his body begin to quake in fear. She would do anything to hurt him and right now she had so much power over him.


End file.
